Fitflops

As a person who carries way more weight than my frame is meant to support, SHOES are a major issue.

My poor feet were always tired and sore, carrying around more than 100 extra pounds. It's better now, since I've lost nearly 50 of those pounds, but I'm still 60+ pounds overweight and my feet suffer for it.

Finding a comfortable shoe that helps to support the fat is always a challenge.

I have a pair of leather shoes that I bought several years ago. They are comfy but rather heavy - if I spend a whole day on my feet my calves get tired from the weight on my feet but on a normal day, they are great.

Except in the summertime. Who wants to wear leather shoes and socks when the sun is hot, the grass is green, and the flowers are blooming?

Not me, that's for sure.

But sandles are a challenge.

To begin with, the straps have to go over just the right part of the foot or they are too tight and uncomfortable.

I have a pair of flip flops that feel GREAT on the top of my foot, but they are completely flat and only about 1/4 " thick at the sole. I can wear them to look nice, but I walk slower and my feet get sore VERY quickly.


So, a couple weeks ago I set off on a quest to find some comfortable flipflops or sandles that would give me enough support to keep me walking at a brisk pace. I was willing and expected to pay at least $50 to accomplish both goals.

Oh, one other criteria....they had to be at least semi attractive - I like my footwear to be as feminine as possible given my weight challenges.

After trying on several nice looking flipflops, I was directed to a display of these 'new' flipflops:

- OK, I was going to put a photo of them here but blogger won't let me move the photo and I'm not going to rewrite everything before this point just so I can have a photo. Sorry

I was told two things.....A) Oprah endorses these shoes. (whoopee) and B) they will actually make you lose inches off your butt if you wear them. (yeah, right)

They are not very pretty, but they're not ugly, either.

I tried them on and walked around the store for about 5 minutes. THAT sold me. I was suprised at how comfortable they were.

The shoes came with a 'warning' to begin wearing them gradually as the workout aspect of them would result in sore muscles.

Uh...no. I began by wearing them all day. That night, I went to bed WITHOUT sore, tired feet for the first time in so long I can't remember. I hadn't even really realized that my feet were always sore until the achy, tired feeling was not there!

Seriously, folks - I have not been asked to endorse this product, and I did not recieve a free pair to 'review'. I just paid my $80 and started to wear them.

I cannot say that they provide a workout for my butt and legs, as advertised - I never experienced the sore muscles they warn of, and I did not take my measurements before so as far as that sales gimmick goes - no comment.

I could care less if Oprah likes them.....(sorry, Oprah fans)....but I care that I can wear them all day and feel that my weight is being properly supported. I can walk around all day without thinking about my feet.

If I could, I'd rather have some sandles that are prettier - but I'll leave those for the day I reach my goal and my body is in proper proportion to my feet.

If you want to see this product go to this link. Or 'google' Fitflops.

I bought the shoe in navy - although red is my favorite color, (see photo at the link) I felt that the contrast of the white and red attracted too much attention to the 'chunkiness' of the shoe.

Anyone else have problems finding a good shoe?

Did you Miss Me? I've Missed YOU!

Well, here I am again, my tail between my legs, apologizing for my absence. I re-read my previous posts since April ..... WOW I have been negative lately.

No more.

I am not going to sit here any longer, mad at myself because I cannot seem to rise above things that I make bigger than they are.

Success in my home, my personal life, and my health are interlinked. As soon as I begin to let myself feel like a failure in one area, I begin to ACT like a failure in every area.

I have not lost weight in a long time - in fact, from my lowest weight to today, I've GAINED 8 pounds. I've quit recording what I'm eating and have not weighed and measured my food. On the positive side, I have remained very aware of my choices and have only had a couple instances where I've 'abandoned ship' - in fact, most of the weight gain has been in the last week.

I've been struggling with 'catching up' in areas of my business and home - and feeling overwhelmed with it all. I let that feeling of being overwhelmed leech over to the way I think about myself - resulting in a negative outlook on all areas of my life.

The fact is that I was behind on bookkeeping for our business - In April, I had to devote much concentrated time to that, resulting in less work in the house. Then, I had to scurry to get some of the garden planted....then Jim got called to work (a very good thing) and suddenly, I had the added responsibility of daily yard work and garden work. I quickly began to feel like I would never catch up - never get a handle on it - and I began to tell myself that I was a failure again.

I hate when I talk to myself like that - it results in my ACTING like a failure....I can't decide what is priority, I can't even take the first step toward accomplishing anything - thus confirming my own diagnosis.

Jim was forced to come home for a day because of rain where he is working - he worked his tail off, getting the yard work caught up and inspiring me to 'just do it' on behalf of the garden. He set things up so the watering will be easier for me (we've not had any rain and our gardens are a LONG way apart and a long way from the tap). If I get on the tractor everyday for an hour or so, the grass should be controllable. The yard is not such a problem (since there has been no rain, it isn't growing very fast) but Jim has worked hard the last couple seasons to groom the field. I don't know how big it is, but rather than have it grow up in weeds and have the County keep on stopping in to tell us to get rid of the thistles, tansy, and chamomille, he spent many hours rototilling it - keeping it black. When he was working, Daniel took over. Last year, he judged that there was now more grass than weeds and he began to mow instead of rototill. He has kept it mowed all spring and it looks very nice as you drive toward our place. When he went to work 2 weeks ago, he told me it had to be done every 6 days or the grass would get so long that the tractor would overheat while cutting it - I managed to get it done once. He had a big job to get it done yesterday but the yard work is pretty much all caught up.

One of the major stumbling blocks for me when Jim is at work is that I do not like to go to bed when he's gone. I end up staying up WAY TOO LATE, watching movies mostly - then, I am either exhausted all day or I don't get up until after 10, making me feel like a lazy slob.

I have made a decision - to consider the time that Jim is at work as time that I am at work. I will be going to bed so that I am asleep well before midnight - even if that means that I do not 'get to' watch my planned movies (which are really not movies, but old TV series on DVD). I will get up by 7:30 am so that I can do yard work before the sun gets too warm then work inside for the afternoon - in my air conditioned home - and then back outside after the sun begins to cool a bit. I can mow for an hour from 9 - 10 pm when the air is pleasant instead of hot.

I've also begun to write down everything I eat - and count the exchanges so I am balancing protein with carbs with veggies with fruit with dairy and fat. I've done this for 2 days now - and I lost TWO pounds since yesterday.

My other resolution is to participate in this blog community. I will post twice a week on this blog and read/comment on other blogs for 30 minutes/day.

I'm counting on y'all to help me to stay focused.

I'm counting on my renewed resolve to combat the negative self-talk, reminding myself that I am NOT a failure! I am well on my way to Success!

So, in the interest of doing what I say, I am going to quit talking and start doing. I'm sure there is some laundry that needs doing - and my spare room needs some TLC.

I'm looking forward to reconnecting with you, my friends!

No, I've not disappeared

No, I haven't disappeared, nor have I given up.

At least 3 times a week I sit down to write a post for this blog but get distracted or pulled away before I begin. The biggest problem has been that I haven't felt like I have anything to say. I haven't continued to lose weight but I also haven't gone off the deep end and gained a whole lot of weight. In fact, as of this morning, I am only 1 pound heavier than my ticker says. Yesterday, I was a pound under. I have been as low as 204 in the last month, though, so I have gained from that point.

What's going on? Well, I could run through a list of things that have changed in my life, but there is no real correlation between those changes and my lack of diligence to my 'diet'. The reality is that dozens of little things have added up to prevent weight loss. It is the little decisions I make everyday, because there have not been any 'huge fall off the wagon' kinds of events......just the small 'one piece won't hurt' kind of decisions. The truth is that 'one piece won't hurt' or 'just this once' is OK for me - it really doesn't make a difference IF it is truly 'just this once'. Unfortunately, 'just this once' has been quite often this spring.

I'm not beating myself up about it, though......I haven't given up and I am always aware of what/how much I am eating........the main thing is that for the most part, in spite of several VERY stressful situations, I have been enjoying life. I still want to be stronger, healthier, and closer to a 'normal' size - and I know how to get there, I am simply facing the facts that I need to learn how to incorporate the eating habits I want into a busier life.

So.....what's been going on?

First - the 'biggie' that I have not talked about but only alluded to......at the end of February, my son's wife walked out on him. There was no warning and he had NO IDEA she was unhappy. In fact, just 2 weeks before she walked, she posted on facebook (and I quote) "my husband is the best thing that ever happened to me and I would completely and utterly lost without him" . This is my #3 son - they had been married for 5 years. Not only was my son completely devastated, our family was shocked and hurt. We all miss our daughter/sister since she has had no contact with any of us - other than a chance meeting in town once - and has not returned phone calls. My son did not want anyone to know about this (and still doesn't want his private business the subject of gossip) but he has now pretty much accepted that there is no resolution in the near future. They went together for counceling twice - then she said she wasn't going anymore. He is still meeting regularly with the councellor. We are very proud of our son - he is walking a difficult path and is making good decisions along the way. He has used this heartbreak to become a stronger man and has drawn closer to God along the way.

Second - Jim works in the Oil/Gas industry. This industry is a 'boom/bust' industry and goes through cycles. For several reasons, it is currently in a bust cycle. The worst bust we have seen in the 30 years we have been in the industry. Jim is one of the top few men in his position with the company he contracts to but we have no news of any work for the summer/fall. This could change in an instant, but at the moment.........our future is very shaky. We do not have a lot of savings - what we save over the winter keeps us going for the spring when there is never any work. Spring is over - summer work should be starting. Will we get a call? So far, we haven't stressed about it since we always prepare to pay the bills until July. That means June is fine - but we need work this month to pay for the next month. We need at least 2 weeks a month in order to pay the bills.

Third - Daughter Kathryn has had a very stressful pregnancy - she is sick every single day she is pregnant and without her anti-nausea meds (Vit B in high doses) she would not be able to function. This fact means that she eats little - which of course affects the baby. She also cannot keep her vitamins down most days so there is danger the baby is malnourished. For the last 4 weeks, she has been getting contractions if she walks for more than 4 minutes. The doctor examined her - she was not going into labor, but he told her not to walk anywhere (she doesn't drive). For the last 2 weeks, she had been getting severe pain in her groin area (as well as pressure, which is fairly normal) She went to the hospital about the pain - they gave her no answers.

Last week she went to the doctor for a regular check up. (She was 32 1/2 weeks at the time) Here is what we are faced with:

• he is concerned about the pain and has no explaination for it
• Her Blood Pressure is UP an her hemoglobin is DOWN
• He had trouble finding Baby's heartbeat and when he found it, it was quite faint
• she is at -4 for weight gain - that is, she is still 4 pounds under her pre pregnancy weight. She initially lost 18 pounds in the first few months when she was actually throwing up (enough it would put her in the hospital) she has gained only 14 pounds since she stopped losing.
• The uterus is 'laying funny' (that is what she remembers of what the doc said)
• He forbade her to make the trip to Montana we were planning for this past weekend because he said he didn't want her to 'deliver early on the side of the road' (there are no hospitals between Calgary and Kalispell)
• He sent her for an emergency 'Bio-Physical Ultrasound' the next day. In the Canadian health care system you do NOT get an ultrasound within 24 hours! Unless it is an emergency. Normally, you have to have your ultrasound booked weeks in advance.
• By the end of the day she went to the doctor, she couldn't remember the last time Baby had moved so we went to the hospital for a stress test. Baby's heartbeat was found immediately and it seemed to be normal. She also started kicking as soon as the monitor belts were put on around Kath's belly.
• Kathryn and Vinj returned from the ultra sound at about 4 pm - her doctor's clinic would be closing within an hour and a half - on a FRIDAY. So, Kath started phoning and insisting that the doc call the radiologist for an initial report so they did not have to wonder all weekend if there was something wrong with their baby girl. The doctor called her back - spoke to her for about 5 seconds and told her there is no emergency for the baby.
• At the ultra sound they were told only two things......the baby is in breech position (still time for that to change) and she is only 3 lbs 10 oz. Very small for her age.

We still do not know why she is experiencing the pain - which makes coping with a 1 year old, a home, a job, and university studies pretty difficult. We still don't know if the ultra sound showed any problems that would not be labled an 'emergency'. We will probably not know until Thursday when she has another doctor appointment booked.

Forth - Youngest Son, Daniel, is at school in Montana. He will be leaving in about 10 days for his 'field assignment' in Thailand and Cambodia. We are going to go visit him this week or this weekend. I will miss being able to see him off at the airport - I've never sent any of my kids off around the world without being at the airport when they left....I don't even know what airport Dan is leaving from - there are none near where he is. BUT he has been enjoying his experience and his studies and is looking forward with excitement to the experience of living in a foreign land for 2 months.

Fifth - We are attempting to plant a garden large enough to store vegetables for the winter. The weather has been a challenge. We had snow a week or so after we planted our potatoes - but not enough to give much moisture. We have not had a drop of rain all spring. We are still getting frost warnings at night. I have gotten some of the garden planted, but we are also bringing in dirt from the field (better condition than the garden dirt) and building raised beds - this kind of slows us down a bit. We are not behind, by any means, since the cold weather plants are all in, but I am still not sure we can handle such a large undertaking on our own (as in - no kids living at home to help).

The positive aspects of this are: Jim and I get to work together, it is always exciting to see the results of hard work, we will have fresh/frozen/canned veggies for the winter that we grew ourselves, I have learned MUCH as I studied about gardening for the last several months - learning is always a plus.

Sixth - We've been enjoying lots of time with our kids/grandkids.....including the little girls' soccer games twice a week. Also, we've stated that Sundays are 'open house at the farm'.....whoever can make it gathers at our house on Sunday for the afternoon and for supper. This has been a great weekly event! We've also been able to spend time with each of the kids in their homes - something that doesn't happen much during the winter

Seventh - Jim hurt his back last Friday, working at Vinj and Kath's while they were at the UltraSound. He was unable to move without extreme pain all weekend. It is getting better, but he is still in pain and must be very careful not to reinjure it. This puts a stop to building more raised beds in the garden for a few days. It also delays the work he needs to do on his truck in case he gets a call to go to work.

Eight - Son number 2 began a new job yesterday. He is working now for his FIL. This is good - he will have much more time with his wife and kids since his old job had him working every weekend and holiday and 5 days a week from 10 am - 10 pm for not a whole lot of money. Son number 3 (the one whose life has been turned upside down by his wife) has not had much work all winter/spring. Just when he thought he had steady work for the summer, that job seems to have fallen through. He is, however, at an interview right now for another job - one that will keep him at home (the other job was working away).

I could go on.....there is so much happening in my life just now - some of it stressful, some of it happy. Let's just say that we believe that when Jesus said "I will never leave you or forsake you" He meant it. We have Peace in each of the difficult situations we face. We have faith that He will see us through whatever is in our future - no matter how difficult. We count our blessings often:

• We love each other,
• We are together all day every day for now,
• We have great kids and grandkids, and get to be with them often and we all get along well
• Although we are both over-weight and are getting older, we have good health and we have the potential of being stronger than we are.

Where does weight loss fit in with all this? Just a little more discipline - I think if I were to make myself write down EVERYTHING I eat EVERY DAY I would be back to losing. It has only been since I have not been as disciplined in this area that things have stalled out. Also, taking part in this blog community regularly is another small discipline that makes a difference - even if I don't think I have anything to say.....because obviously, I had lots to say when I thought I didn't have anything to say! (LOL)

In the meantime, I am enjoying my life and the good gifts God has given to me.

Re-directing

No, I am not going in another direction, I am re-directing YOU.....if you want, that is.

My post today is on my 'other blog'....Musings From Me. It has nothing to do with weight or weight-loss, but if you are interested in learning something about ME, then allow me to redirect you......

Spring

Thank you, all for the caring comments left on my last post.

This blog is helpful to me....that includes my reading of your blogs and your comments on my posts - you keep me motivated and inspired.


My days and evenings have had to be reorganized, of course, since Jim has been home now for about a month. It is wonderful to be able to share all my days and evenings with him - but it means that the time I used to spend blogging is now largely used in other activities.

We spend more time with our kids as a large group when Jim is home - partly because when he is home, it ISN'T WINTER!!!!


If you don't live in a cold climate, you may not appreciate how much less time we tend to spend indoors in the spring/summer. We are forced to stay inside for much of the winter due to cold weather and short days. Consequently, we gravitate to the outdoors when the days get longer and the snow is gone and the air warm and pleasant. Even when it is on the colder side, relatively speaking, we will sit outside just because it isn't winter anymore!

Spring also brings sports......when our kids were young, it was softball and baseball. Spring meant that we were at the ball field every. single. night. of the week.

Weekends included.

From mid-April until the end of July.

We had up to 4 kids in ball at one time....all on different teams. There have been a few years since our youngest quit playing, but this spring, our granddaughters are in soccer (we'd rather watch ball, but.....soccer is what is available in our small town)

Last night was the first game/practice for Emma (almost 9 yrs old).

We are laughing at Rob, who is a little panicked at realizing he will need to be at the soccer field 4 nights every week. His 3 girls are all on different teams. Of course, Grampa and Gramma need to be there to watch them play! (At least once a week, each). I'm looking forward to carrying my lawn chair and blanket (or winter coat) across the field to sit and watch my girls run around and learn team play. The good thing about soccer, is that the games are short...they are over before the sun starts to go down.

Emma is in a white jersey - in the center of the photo, wearing pigtails.

Last night, we needed sunscreen and sunglasses and flip flops were perfectly comfortable.

Tonight, if it doesn't get rained out, we will need warm socks, mitts, warm coats, and possibly an umbrella. The girls are young enough that the 'powers that be' probably call the game on behalf of rain, but when they are a bit older, the game will go on unless there is lightening.

We get sunburned and we freeze, but it is fun - and it is OUTSIDE!

Rob and Lana (with Titus strapped to her front) watching Emma learn to run and kick


This year, we have determined to plant a large enough garden to help with our grocery bill over the summer and through next winter. Since it has been about 6 years since we've had a garden, I've been studying about growing and storing vegetables for the last 3 months I wanted to refresh my memory and I've learned many new things over the winter.


I've started tomatoe plants, peppers, lettuce, cucumbers, cabbage, and watermelon. I've never started plants indoors before, so this has been a new experience - so far, it has been quite a successful experiment. Of course, it is not yet time to put the plants outside - our average last day of frost around here is May 25 - and that is just average.


One of the things I learned in my studying is that contrary to popular culture, I do not have to wait until after May 25 to begin my garden - there are many plants that actually do best if they are planted when the weather is still quite cool at night - even to just below freezing - as long as the ground is workable and the soil warms up during the day. We have finally arrived at that point....as long as it doesn't decide to rain for a week straight.


Last week, the stores finally had some seed potatoes in stock. We bought 90 lbs - going by the formula that 10 lbs of seed will give 100 pounds of potatoes. We figured we'd grow enough for 100 lbs for each of the kids and us, plus some left for seed next year.

On Sunday, Robert and Lana helped us cut them up into seeds.

This is what 90 lbs of cut up seed potatoes looks like:







Yesterday, Jim and I planted about 178 plants. Today, we finished filling our 'North Garden' by planting 4 more rows - about 200 plants.

We took the 'seeds' out to the garden in the tractor's bucket

Jim makes a shallow trench which will be our 'line' for digging the holes in this row.


Let me tell you, digging almost 400 holes and then covering them over, is a workout! Who needs Jillian, Pilates, or Tony Little? LOL. Plus, I got the added benefits of sunshine, fresh air, working alongside my hubby, and work accomplished.

This particular job works the shoulders, upper arms, forearms, abs (upper, lower, and lateral), and lower back. If you wanted to add cardio to this workout, you could try to run through the newly cultivated dirt on your way back to the beginning of each row. I did not worry about cardio - I was more concerned with being able to finish the job.


Although when I went to bed last night my body was hurting and very tired, it felt so good to have worked hard and accomplished something so tangible. I was not nearly as stiff and sore as I expected when we drove back out to the potatoe patch this morning, but my muscles began to complain as soon as I started to use them again. I tired much more quickly this morning, but as I concentrated on flexing the muscles I was using, I thought about how I was getting stronger with each pull of the hoe. This helped me to keep on keeping on - even when we had to dig one row twice.

We totally did not need 90 lbs of seed potatoes - there are still many left! We're going to try some in tire stacks, and try some in ground we've never planted in - just to see if they will grow - (this area has few weeds, making us think the soil is bad).


Well, this turned out to be totally not what I was going to post about.....but, this is what is on my mind right now - of course, the general feeling of weakness and the soreness and stiffness that are the symptoms of an old, fat, out of shape woman working hard for 3 hours at a time two days in a row kind of keep these thoughts at the forfront of my mind. LOL. It's hard to think of anything else when my hands, forearms, back, abs, etc are hurting.


But we'll all have potatoes for the winter!

As long as the root cellar gets a proper door on it, that is. LOL.

Enough

I'm having a real hard time keeping up with this blog.

There is so much going on recently in my life.... yeah, I know - an excuse.

My weight loss efforts have been ......let's just say I've not gained. It is hard to maintain a weight loss mind set when your mind is stretched with so many other things that are concerning. For the last couple months I've bounced between 206 and 209 - and I've not even cared. Seriously, I've had many things to deal with.

Well, this week, even though the stressors have not lessened (in fact, they've even gotten worse) I have realized that I CARE that I am not as diligent with counting my exchanges, I CARE that I am eating some of my hubby's fries (that he shouldn't be having) when we stop for lunch during our errands. I CARE that I didn't walk on my treadmill yesterday. It bothers me that I am suddenly craving foods tha I have not cared about for over a year.

Along with the lack of diligence regarding food, I am beginning to notice a regression back toward hating myself. Not a total backslide, just a bit of a regression.

Enough.

Regardless of outside stressors, I do care enough about ME to take charge of what I can take charge of.

I may not be able to control sickness, the economy, or other people....I may not be able to change the past and how it affects today, but I CAN control what I do with my body, what I put into my mouth, and the 'self-talk' I allow in my mind.

I am sick today (again) but I am going to get on the treadmill for as long as my weak body will allow. I am going to eat the right amount of food and drink my water.

I am going to continue to rest in God's love for me and for my family - and in His provision and protection through whatever lies ahead.

NSV

In the spring of 2007 my hubby and I spent a month driving through several states. We had a wonderful time, seeing and experiencing the various landscapes and sights.

At the beginning of our trip, at a lunch stop in Montana, I went into a 'Gem Store' just to look around. I was thrilled with all the different colors of stones - most of which I had never seen before - or even heard of. Color makes me happy in any circumstance, so a store full of sparkly color was a real treat! I was especially drawn to the garnets. Red is one of my favorite colors and I had always like rubies because of that. Garnets make rubies look washed out. They have the deepest, richest color I've ever seen. Luxurious....that is the word that comes to my mind when I think of a garnet.

On our way home, we stopped at an Opal mine in Idaho. (Opals are another favorite of mine) At the gift store, I found some necklaces of unfinished garnets for only $5 each. I wanted one SO BADLY, but they were quite short and I could not get it around my neck. Since I couldn't have one for myself, I bought one for each of my girls. They resemble those puma shell necklaces that were so popular a few years ago, except that instead of white 'beads' they are polished deep red beads. Very pretty.

The other day, Jim and I were looking after Seth at Vinjelu and Kathryn's house. Kathryn's garnet necklace was laying around, as if she had just taken it off. On a whim, I tried it on.
IT FIT!!! I could wear it all day, if I wanted.

Sometimes, when the scale isn't moving as quickly as we want, when things are not going as well as before, it is good to have something remind us 'from whence we've come'.

I may have a long way to go, but I'm not where I WAS! And that is something to celebrate.

Too bad I was too cheap to buy myself a necklace just to look at.